Q. Why did the ghost ride the elevator?
A. To lift his spirits
Q. Why didn’t the melons get married?
A. Because they cantalope.
Q. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A. Because he was out-standing in his field
Q. What do you call a fake noodle?
A. An im-pasta
Would you play cards with these two?
Q. Why can’t you play cards in the African Savanna?
A. Because there are a lot of cheetahs.
Q. What did the buffalo say to his son after he dropped him off at school?
A. Bison!
Learning by osmosis?
Q. Did you hear about the kidnapping at preschool?
A. He woke up.
Two antennas got married.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Q. Did you hear about the crab that went to the disco?
A. He pulled a mussel.
Q. What did the brother cell say to the sister cell after he bumped his toe?
My toe, sis? More like Mitosis.
A. Ow, mitosis!
Q. Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
A. It was intense.
Q. An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance.
A. So I pushed her over.
Q: What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog?
A: Stop touching my buns!
Q: What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it?
A: A “hollow-weenie!”
A REAL hot dog!
Q: What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua?
A: A hot, diggety dog.
Q: What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter?
A: Ketch-up!
Doctors Office: A guy walks into the doctor’s office. A hot dog in one of his ears, a pretzel in the other ear, and a nacho chip in one nostril.
The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?”
The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”
Northern News 